Crouching Kitty, Hidden Boardgames

I have a long history of playing games with animals in the house. Sometimes it's uneventful, like when you have a dog snoozing under the table. Sometimes, though, we're playing with cats in the house. I remember regularly sliding my child hood cat, Spook, off the Monopoly board (he sat right in the middle where the Free Parking pot was). My mom and I would argue over who would have to get him off because sometimes he would retaliate. I had mostly forgotten about this until playing a game of Dungeons and Dragons in my friend's house. He has two cats. One is sweet and quiet. So quiet that his name is Whisper. The other is sometimes fun and friendly, and sometimes all claws and teeth. Anyway, we set up the game, complete with minis and maps and dice. While in a particularly intense battle, Summit the cat leapt from his perch, scattering the minis and dice. He looked very proud of himself. And when his dad shooed him off, the claws came out. Spook lives on!

Flying Couscous, Smiling Bug

Here's a story from my friend, Kelsey. Her dog, Bug is a little terrier mix who smiles when he's nervous. Probably because he did it once and everyone laughed and stopped being mad. He does it on command but he also does it when he thinks he might be in trouble. When dogs are a part of your lives, you often find them in the way or tripping over them. In my house, this usually results in a bad word and then an apology and hug to the dog in question. One day, Bug's mom was standing in the kitchen talking to her fiancé about what they were going to have for dinner. She was holding a bag of couscous and tossing it back and forth from one hand to another. Bug was standing nearby watching the bag go back and forth. As happens from time to time, Kelsey missed the bag. It went flying across the room and right into Bug's face. He immediately began to smile, pacing from one side of the room to another with a smile plastered on his face. Naturally, his people were laughing riotously and telling him he wasn't in trouble but this just resulted in him continuing to smile. Eventually he was showered with love and hugs and all was right with the world. The couscous was cooked and everyone was happy.

Buddy Proofing Folly

Buddy is a sweet lab mix you mostly just wants to snuggle or play with his friends. He's very comfortable in his home but when he stays with me (or anywhere) he has some pretty serious separation anxiety. I tried a number of things with him, including leaving him in the house, in his room, with a friend, without, with toys and food, without. Nothing worked. I almost always came home to a river of pee, the closet door opened and stuff pulled out and eaten. He could open drawers, even the refrigerator. This led to an eventful and lengthy process of attempting to "Buddy Proof" the dog room. I moved the dog food into the closet that locked, got a tension mounted curtain rod to keep the other closet door from moving, spun the refrigerator around. He still managed to open the drawers and pull kibble out of there. I was really worried that he was going to hurt himself getting into things or eat something that would make him sick. Every time I came home, I would find a new challenge and fix it. After months of trial and error, I finally found a method that works. Everything food related is barricaded in the closet and Buddy gets a frozen Kong when I leave. When I come home now, his room is clean and his face is smiling. And if it's Buddy proof, it's dog proof.

Heidi's New Bling

Heidi the Weimeraner has some interesting habits. One is that if she is left at home when people are not with her, she will without fail, get into the trash if it's available to her. Her mom warned me and I took it to heart. Normally I lock it in the bathroom but sometimes I forget. These days, I have a locking trash bin, so even if it's left out, it's pretty hard for her to break into (though she did manage it once). When she first started staying with me, I had a normal trash can with one of those lids that flip around. I still locked it in the bathroom but like I said, sometimes I forget. One day, I came home to Heidi, with a beautiful new necklace. Her big weimeraner face was smiling and her little tail stub was wiggling and the trash lid was hanging around her neck. Ohhh Heidi

Mad Max

This one is also from the history books, from the same household as Morgan. Max was a roommate's dog also. He was an Italian Spinone that had one of the biggest senses of humor that I've ever seen in a dog. He would eat all his food except for one kibble and then guard it from the rest of the dogs until his mom would yell at him and tell him to finish and he would. Then he'd dance away, super proud of himself for his shenanigans. The best story though, is how much he loved it when we used citronella collars. We didn't need them very often, but with 5 dogs in the house sometimes things would escalate and we needed some backup in our zone defense. Max thought this was the best, as long as he wasn't the one wearing it. We noticed that the other dogs would avoid him when they were wearing the collars. We thought that was weird but it was pretty subtle so we figured we were making things up. Until one day, we walked into the room and he was so excited to see another dog with the collar on that he ran right up to them, ducked his head under theirs and made a very quiet woof. The collar went off and sprayed the dog wearing it in the face, missing Max completely. He danced and smiled and scooted away, leaving us in fits of laughter and with a decision to stop using the citronella collars.

From the History Books

I've been hanging around dogs for a long time. There are a number of stories from "way back". This one is from the days when I had roommates. Morgan was a super sweet lab/rottie/pit mix who loved her family but wasn't necessarily thrilled about others. She was also super intense about the laser pointer. She loved it to the point that we couldn't play it very often because she would obsess over it. We called it her "buggy" and if you asked if she wanted to play with the buggy her big eyes would pop and she would run in circles. When she chased the light she would muzzle punch it and nip it with her front teeth. This was adorable... but also dangerous! She would do this no matter where the light was. Floors, walls, couch, your leg. This was OK if you knew were paying attention. But occasionally, you would fall asleep on the couch. One of your clever roommates would quietly get up and grab the laser pointer... and point it at your leg. You'd wake up to a little pinch and a dog that is really confused about why you just yelped in alarm. Roommates are jerks.

High Five, Little Kitty

We've had some unfortunate kitty stories here already, in large part because those are the funniest. Contrary to popular belief though, I like cats, especially cats that act like dogs. Here's a story about a cat named Duck who thinks he's a dog. Duck's mom is pretty cool. She and her husband foster kittens regularly and have always have their own cats with, well, let's call it interesting origin stories. When I met the kitties officially, Mom showed me how Duck performs tricks. He "touches" your hand and other things that you point at. When I was visiting the cats, I had forgotten that his command was touch and so I asked him to high five. He looked at me for a moment and then put his little paw on my hand. He got lots of pets and a treat for that. Then we did it over and over again until I got a halfway decent pic. One smart little kitty!

Hostage Situation Part 2

I'd like to say that I've mastered all cats and am confident that I will never be held hostage again, especially after 2 times now. But I am definitely not confident in that statement. I want you to keep in mind, that last week, while scuba diving, I literally swam with sharks. Sharks! But these house cats, they're not messing around. Here's another hostage story.

I met Merlot the cat with Marie the trainer. Her dad called Marie in because he was at a point where he was unable to have friends over or have pet sitters come because his cat chased everyone away. We went to see her, and she did indeed charge us and chew on our shoes and try everything to get us to leave. She settled in a little eventually but when we went to leave, she chased us out. Well, OK, I could handle this. After a few more training sessions, Dad went out of town and Kim and I were left to care for Merlot. I went first and when I got there, I couldn't find her. I looked everywhere, no Merlot. I peaked into her hiding spots, not there. I finally looked at the dresser drawer just inside her bedroom and saw her. We made eye contact and I reached in to shut her in the room while I got things sorted (this was the plan from the start). As soon as my hand crossed the boundary of the doorway she launched. I yelped and tried to shut the door but I was too far from the handle. I leapt into the nearby bathroom and shut the door in her face. She sat on the other side, paw under the door, swiping back and forth. After about 10 minutes she retreated to her room. I snuck out of the bathroom and shut the door so I could clean her litter box and feed her. I reported to her dad that all was well, aside from an initial awkward interaction. I got similar reports from Kim on her visits (though she was able to just immediately shut her in the bedroom instead of being held hostage!) My last visit, I went through the normal protocols and everything went well. I went to open the door when I left and walked away (as I had been doing all week). I heard a noise behind me and whipped around to see her sprinting full on at me. I helped in surprise. She yelped in surprise and froze ("I'm totally not chasing you Miss Lauren, I would never do that") and I backed out of the apartment. We've seen Merlot a few more times since then, though now we have a cat whisperer named Brooke who sees her. Stay tuned for a guest post from her about how she's winning over Miss Merlot!

Hey Luna, What Do You Have Th...Oh God!

I have a lot of stories about Luna. She was one of my favorite dogs, her mom was really nice, and she walked really well. She had been a street dog in Honduras but her mom fell in love when she was there (I think for the Peace Corps) and took her home. She was a little busted up, had been hit by a car and her leg wasn't set properly, a good sized hole in one of her ears, but was generally good natured and sweet. She loved all people but she could do without dogs when she was on leash. There will be many more Luna stories to come but this one stands out.

My Dog Walker, Mark, had been working for me for a while by this point. He knew Luna pretty well and enjoyed her walks as much as everyone else did. One day, he texted me a story that I'm unlikely to forget. As I said, Luna was a street dog. Because of this, she wanted to eat EVERYTHING. She preferred any kind of food (even rotten) but there were many things I pulled out of her mouth in her time with me. Fortunately, I never had this particular pleasure. Mark said he noticed her sniffing and called her. She was normally very good but didn't look up. He tugged on the leash and she grabbed something and ran to bring it to him. He couldn't quite see what it was but could see it wasn't something she should be eating. He grabbed for it but she pulled away. When she turned her head he could see that it was... a cat's leg. This kitty had obviously been dead for quite some time, now we really didn't want her to eat it. He went for it again but she whipped away, and swallowed it. Gross. Mark moved quickly away from the bush where she had found her prize and texted me. I told mom to keep an eye on her for any unfortunate side effects. I'll give it to mom, she took it in stride and responded with something like, "Oh Luna". The rest of the walk passed without incident, fortunately. Mark and I chatted about it later and both agreed that it was way better that he was walking Luna that day, and not his girlfriend Jess, who also walked for me. We both would have heard about that for months!

Who Let The Dogs Out?

When your company cares for 100 dogs or more a week, there's bound to be some craziness. We are very careful with locking doors, checking gates, and following client instructions but just like anything else, there are a lot of things that can go wrong at any given time, and sometimes, they do. Here is one such story.

 Ryan was my first Dog Walker. We had known each other forever and he wasn't getting enough hours at his job at a dog daycare. He reached out and asked if I was hiring. Trying not to sound too desperate, I said yes. I hadn't had a day off in months. The idea of not having a walk for an entire day was almost too tempting to even think about. It worked out well and he worked for me for two years. After over a year, he was staying at a client's house. The client had three dogs, plus her daughter's dog was there. I got a frantic call from mom a couple days into the trip saying that a neighbor had called and all four of her dogs were out. Ryan was done with walks and headed back already and I decided to go out too to help catch them. Nikki (my GM) was with me and we jumped in my car and drove out. The house was far and rush hour was starting so it took us 45 minutes to get there. In that time I called another client who lived a block away and asked if she would be able to help look. She said she had the flu but gamely got into her car and drove around looking for them (have I mentioned how much I love my clients?). She saw them a couple times and relayed their positions, which Nikki then relayed to Ryan, who changed his direction. By the time we showed up Ryan was getting the last dog in the house. He was huffing and puffing but also smiling. That could have been terrible.

The question still remains though, who did let the dogs out? Ryan wasn't home when they busted out, he hadn't touched the gate at all. Mom insisted the gate was secure and he must have let them out or left something open somewhere. Determined to get to the bottom of this, most obviously because we didn't want it to happen again, we went to the gate and investigated. We discovered that the gate had been pushed hard enough that it had popped open. We suspect that a cat or neighbor's dog was on the other side and the dogs were barking and jumping on the gate (something they didn't normally do). With the weight of 4 dogs and that much activity, the gate couldn't hold up. We fixed it up so that it would hold and I took pictures to send to mom. In the end, the dogs were all safe, and the dogs let the dogs out.

You Can't See What's Right in Front of You

I've been pet sitting for a long time. Pawsitively Pooches has been around since 2010 but I started in high school (around 1999). When I worked for a vet after college, I had a few clients that hired me for when they were out of town and was active in a local animal welfare organization where I got a couple other clients. One of the first clients I had that I didn't actually know (I had swapped a couple of emails with her but that was it) hired me to stay at her house on the recommendation of our mutual friend, the director of the non profit I was involved in. I just had to stay at her house and play with the dog and feed the cats. I could do that. Here's what happened.

I got to the house and the dog was tied up out front sleeping on the stoop. That was very strange. She told me he'd be in the house. Plus they had a fenced yard, why would he be out front? I texted her to let her know I was there and mentioned his odd location. She said that was weird but her boyfriend was the last to leave and maybe he was just forgetful or something. I shrugged and went off to find the cats. The cats loved to hide and two were mother and daughter and looked almost exactly alike. I found one, but couldn't find the other anywhere. I messaged mom that I didn't see her and asked her for any less likely hiding spots than the ones she had already told me about. She gave me a couple. After about 20 minutes, I still hadn't found her. Mom called me and asked me to check the windows. I did, and sure enough, the screen had been torn in a window that was open. The pup had broken through the window and taken off. A neighbor recognized him and brought him home, tying him up out front (Ohhhhh). OK, well this isn't good. This kitty was very small, and not overly healthy or tough. What if she went outside??? Mom really didn't think she would but we were worried. I continued looking and after another 20 minutes or so decided to sit down and be quiet, in the hopes that she would make herself a little more visible if I wasn't banging around with increasing panic. I sat down on the couch and pet the dog, found the remote, and turned on the TV. I looked up to see what to watch... and there she was, sitting quietly on top of the TV wondering what all the fuss was about. I could see both her and her doppelganger so I knew it was her. I breathed a sigh of relief and called mom to tell her she was fine and relay the funny story. We both had a good laugh and the rest of the trip went off without a hitch. Phew.

Hostage Situation

I wonder if there's a SWAT team for being held hostage by a cat. There should be. It would give them a new image, that's for sure. They come barreling in (hut hut hut) in full gear carrying toys for the cat to swat at, while you run away. Get it? SWAT team? Heh. I'm sure you're wondering how I could possibly be held hostage by one little house kitty. After all, I'm in and out of people's homes all the time. I deal with hundreds of cats and dogs every month including some dogs that aren't really sure they want me to be there. In fact, I was only in this house to walk the dog. I didn't even need to go anywhere near the cat! But there I was, at the top of the stairs with the door shut wondering how I was going to get down the stairs with the door open but without the cat attacking me. Let's start from the beginning.

Deuce is a big, happy boxer that needed to go potty while his mom and dad were out for the night. I had to check the water for the cat but he had plenty of food and his litter box had already been done. I went upstairs from the garage and took Deuce for a nice walk. When I brought him back for snuggles and pets (his favorite), I noticed the cat giving me the stink eye. Well, cats just give stink eye right? Probably nothing. As I walked through the apartment he stalked me. Weird, but not overly concerning. When I crossed out of the kitchen he launched from the floor onto my leg, holding on with his teeth. I yelped in surprise and pain and shook him off my leg. I turned to face him and we squared off. He wanted to come at me again but wasn't willing to do it while I was staring him down. I backed out of the room and shut the door and called his mom. He had never done that before. Hmmm. He was on the other side of the door yowling. Mom could hear him. I managed to get in and check his water, patted Deuce on the head (who had no interest in getting in the middle of this showdown), and backed out again. Easy peasy right? One thing though, the litter box is at the bottom of the stairs. The door to exit is also at the bottom. I have to open the door at the top of the stairs and get down the stairs to get away from Beelzecat before he launched at my head. Which is exactly what he tried to do every time I opened the door. I called the trainer I worked with. She gave me a few (ultimately useless) suggestions to get out. Eventually, I grabbed a plastic bag full of plastic bags and a baseball bat. I got down as low as I could and cracked the door enough for him to sneak through. I was halfway down the stairs when he ran in and chased me. He leapt at my face and I threw the plastic bags at him, turned and sprinted down the stairs. I made it! Kitty foiled! I could still hear him yowling on the other side of the door. I told mom that I made it, 45 minutes after his initial attack, and limped home where I soaked my wounds and marveled at what I weird life I have.

Epilogue: Mom was actually a friend and I went back to see if he was the same or if he was weirded out because mom and dad weren't home. He stalked me the whole time and hissed if I got within a few feet. They have since moved but he's still a stalker of pet sitters. Now that they know, though, they can be prepared!